Goodness for Goodness’ Sake

My mother always said that I was the best thing that ever happened to her; pretty typical thing for a mother to say to her son, right? What I have realized as I have gotten older, however, is that my mother is also one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

Let me tell you about my mother. She works quietly in the background, going to church every day, helping her friends and family in whatever way she can, and working multiple jobs just to make sure that our family is well provided for. At the end of the day she comes home, often tired and worn out, but always ready to talk to me, ask me how my day was, and try to make me feel better if I am feeling down. She has never in all the time I have known her asked for or desired any recognition for what she does. She is content to put the needs and desires of everybody around her ahead of her own.

Some people in the world lead good and virtuous lives because they hold an elected office that they want to be re-elected to. Others do it because they want to be well liked in their businesses. Still others lead good lives in hopes of being honored for their service. All of these groups of people do good work and I certainly do not want to in any way diminish their good works, but I venture to say that very few of them would be as good as they are if they were motivated by nothing more than the virtue in their hearts. That is what sets my mother apart from so many other people. She has no worldly motive to lead the good life that she does, and she certainly does not benefit from it materially. Yet she does it anyway. She is one of the few people in the world who I believe lives up to the title of this narrative- being good for goodness’ sake. So wherever this story goes, if it is read by one person or one thousand, I would like to let this be a tribute to the woman who inspires me. Through her example of service, she inspires me to be selfless; through her example of humility she inspires me to be humble; through her life, she inspires me to be a better person. However great the evil in the world is, and however easy it may be to wonder where all the goodness has gone, I feel that I can go to bed every night with the security of knowing that all the good people in the world have not disappeared- I should know, I live with one

Bessie Montgomery was born sometime in the 1940’s (being the women she is, she would not tell me the exact date) in Hammond, Louisiana to a family of farmers. She was the fourth oldest of fourteen children and had tremendous responsibilities around the house starting at the age of five. As the first-born girl, Bessie was taught how to cook meals and braid hair so that her mother could work on the farm. Because she was still so tiny, she had to stand on a stool while preparing the family’s meals over their wood-fired stove.

Both of Bessie’s parents were uneducated and illiterate and she desperately desired an education. Her three older brothers were able to go to school and would teach her once they returned in the evenings. It wasn’t until she was nine years old that Bessie had the chance to attend herself but, in order to attend, she had to complete all of her morning’s chores by the time the school bus came at 7:00 am. Each morning she woke up at 4:00 am and had to pick 25 quarts of strawberries, cook the family breakfast (typically steak and eggs) and do each of her sister’s hair. More often than not, she was successful and was able to graduate high school when she was nineteen.

After graduating, she moved to New Orleans because there were not enough jobs in Hammond. She found a job working in a sewing factory and was married at the age of twenty. Her husband was in the military so they relocated to Germany for several years before he went to Vietnam. Since her husband was at war, Bessie returned to New Orleans and got a job at the Space Center in the printing department and began taking night class at Southern University. Despite working fulltime and raising two daughters, Bessie was able to graduate in four years and became a special education teacher at a nearby public school. In 1981, Bessie’s husband divorced her after finding a Vietnamese woman and left her a single mother.

Bessie worked three jobs in order to raise her daughters Gwendolyn and Sonya, put them through private school and keep their five-bedroom home on Deslonde Street. It was important to Bessie that her daughters attended private school so that they were able to get the education she was never able to receive. The five-bedroom home was also significant to Bessie because she grew up in a three-bedroom house with sixteen people. It was imperative that she had enough room for her daughters to have their own space and also to be able to provide accommodations for her family when they came to visit.

Luckily, Bessie’s daughters were able to attain scholarships for college and both graduated with honors and are now successful women living in New Jersey and Texas. In 1991, the caretaker to Bessie’s handicapped nephew, Jesse, passed away. No one in the family was willing to care for him so Bessie took Jesse as her own and has watched over him ever since. In order to devote the time needed to Jesse, Bessie retired from her teaching position and took on the full time job as caretaker.

For the next few years, Bessie’s life was fairly simple. Besides caring for her nephew, Bessie became an avid volunteer at a local senior home making quilts with the elderly women. She also became very passionate about gardening and created a lavish garden in the backyard of her home full of beautiful plants, flowers and a fountain. This is where she and Jesse would spend most of their afternoons. They also frequented the river walk in downtown where Bessie admired the foliage while Jesse was fascinated by the large ferries that travel down the river. They also enjoyed the aquarium and visited often because of Jesse’s love of water. Ironically, Bessie’s life was about to be overturned by the very thing her nephew so dearly loved.

On August 27th, 2005, one of Bessie’s sisters came to get her and Jesse and evacuate them to safety in Mississippi. Every news station was reporting that New Orleans was going to be confronted with the category 5 hurricane Katrina sometime in the next two days (Time 37). Luckily, at 6:00 am on the 29th, Katrina veered to the East and hit shore 70 miles southeast of New Orleans with wind speeds of 145 mph (Time 39). Although saved from the worst of the storm, New Orleans is still hit with 120 mph winds that begin to rip off rooftops while tearing other buildings down entirely (CNN 21). Trees are torn out of the ground, crashing into power lines while massive signs rip through the air. After twelve long hours, the storm passes.

In Mississippi, Bessie rejoiced with family that the damage was far less than expected and she began to plan her journey home. Little did she, or the citizens of New Orleans, know that the 17th Street levee had been breached and the lower ninth ward was now nine feet underwater and still rising (CNN 15). Bessie’s home, along with at least 40,000 others, were completely submerged in 17.5 feet of water by the next evening and it is estimated that more than 500 people are trapped in their homes (CNN 30).

Upon hearing this, Bessie extended her stay in Mississippi for four weeks before going to Texas for another month to live with her daughter, Sonya. After those two months, Bessie returned to Hammond with her sister but was unable to return to her home in New Orleans until November 2005 when the waters finally receded. When she finally did return, Bessie was horrified by what she found; the lower ninth ward was all but a memory. The home she had lived in for forty-four years was a disaster. The garden she’d so carefully tended for was completely washed away, everything indoors was ruined and looters had broken in and taken anything of value. Unfortunately, there was worse to come.

In the coming weeks, Bessie received thousands of dollars in bills from the water and electric companies. Outraged, she questioned why she should pay water when her house was 17.5 feet under the very element. The company’s response was, “If you no longer needed the water, you should have had it shut off.” She was left with no choice but to pay the bills. Bessie kept her spirits high remembering her house was insured for $85,000. However, when she went to receive this money, Bessie found out that she would only be awarded $1300 because the hurricane was “an act of God.” With what little money she had, along with help from her family, Bessie hired a contractor to help get her home back. After one day of gutting, he left along with all of Bessie’s money. Out of funds and homeless, Bessie returned to Hammond and has lived with her sister ever since.

In August 2007, Bessie was finally able to hire another contractor by the name of Randy Lee who gave her a discounted price because of her prior problems. True to his word, Lee gutted her house so that Bessie could finally start to rebuild. Anxiously she returned to New Orleans expecting to see many stores back open and the liveliness back in her community. On this second visit in two years, Bessie was heartbroken to find that virtually nothing had changed. Businesses were still closed, homes had still not been gutted and only three of her neighbors had returned. The only hope Bessie had left was that her home would be completed in a few more months and that she and Jesse could return to their lives. Regretfully, this would also not come to be.

March 27th, 2008 Bessie watched as a passenger van containing twenty-one volunteers pulled into her driveway in New Orleans. Being one of those volunteers, I was able to witness the ear-to-ear grin that spread across her face as we introduced ourselves and said we were there to help. While waiting for Lee to arrive with our supplies, Bessie told us her story. We were all deeply moved and could not wait to begin working! Lee arrived shortly and we began to complete the outside of her house.

Over the next three days, I grew very close to Bessie and she frequently requested my presence on trips to buy my group lunch or simply because she wished to show me around her community. Jesse would sit in the backseat, speaking only when he saw water and became excited. Bessie would gaze at him lovingly in the rear view mirror before continuing her stories about the places we passed. I fully expected that sadness would overwhelm her as she spoke of all the friends she lost, the destroyed church she used to frequent and the markets at which she shopped that had still not returned. Instead, Bessie kept her head high and spoke with happy reminiscing.

She told me of her love for cooking and would laugh whole-heartedly at my disgust each time she told me another of her favorite recipes. Because of her extensive background with beef products, Bessie no longer eats red meat. Instead she most enjoys hog head cheese (a cheese made out of hog brains), raccoon (de-furred and stuffed like a turkey with sweet potatoes) and chitlins (broiled pig intestines served over pasta with red sauce). Her amused laugh and large smile were the only things that kept my stomach from twisting throughout the entire conversation.

Bessie’s upbeat, optimistic demeanor along with her delightful sense of humor completely astounded me. After all she had been through so far, and even knowing what she faced in the future, Bessie remained calm and did not complain about her situation. “Jesus and my children are my biggest strengths. When God is ready for us to be back in that house, we will be back in that house,” she shared after I asked how she stayed so strong. Her smile told me that she sincerely knew that things would be okay in the end.

At the end of each workday, we would reveal to Bessie what we had accomplished. All of us would hold our breath while her and Jesse held and walked into the backyard. Each day, Bessie would drop her jaw and let out a delighted squeal. The first day, Jesse cried because he was so overwhelmed by how much we had finished. He placed his head on Bessie’s shoulder and simply sobbed for several minutes while Bessie stroked his head and prayed. This moved many of us to tears and we were regretful as we returned to camp; all of us wanted to stay and continue working. We decided that we wished to buy flowers and plants for Bessie so she could begin re-growing her garden.

March 28th was our final day and our group decided to bring 40 volunteers to ensure the outside of Bessie’s home would be complete. At the time of our arrival, we presented Bessie with a multitude of flowers and plants and she was completely overjoyed! She recognized the plants and excitedly told us all about them in great detail. She thanked us and spent most of the afternoon admiring her new treasures. After a solid ten hours of work, the outside of Bessie’s home was completed. We returned to the front yard to tell her we were ready for her final viewing of our work.

Seemingly as nervous as we were, Bessie slowly edged her way to the backyard and made a quick cross across her chest before turning around. The sheer wonderment on her face was indescribable and she immediately burst into a speech about us being her angels and had us gather around for a prayer. After we prayed, nearly every person was in tears and we each took turns hugging Bessie farewell and piling into our vans.

The goodbye between Bessie and I was definitely the longest and she had not shed a tear until saying, “I love you, please do not drive away and forget about me.” I held her so close that I could feel the curly brown wig that covered her shaven, gray head as it tickled my cheek. I promised her that I would return over the summer and she gave me her phone number. Our hug seemed to last for five minutes and several people snapped photos of our somber goodbye. One of the chaperones had to pull me away, tears still streaming down my face as I told Bessie that I loved her and I had never had a role model before she came into my life.

Now back in Chicago, I still call Bessie at least twice a week and we have made many plans for my visit in the summer. I promised to take her and Jesse back to the river walk and aquarium they had so enjoyed prior to the storm. In return, Bessie has promised to make me a raccoon and hog’s headcheese dinner, which I can honestly say I am excited for. Bessie has forever changed my life through hearing her stories and witnessing her incredible strength and faith. I am beyond proud to proclaim that I have found my life’s role model.

My life has always been a somewhat rocky one. I've moved around alot and went to ten different schools including four different highschools. School was rough for me, and kids where never the nicest. But through all of that I always had my mother to guide me and inspire me. I'm an only child and my mother and I are very close. Ever since i was a little child my mother always told me to reach for my dreams and achieve the best and be the best that I can be. I was in the "closet" all throughout highschool, and one of my biggest fears was coming out to my mother, because we are a catholic family and i'm her only child. So when the day came that i decided to tell her i was gay, my mother actually started crying, not because I was gay but because i had been afraid to tell her and that she wouldn't love me anymore. When she told me this, I realized my mother was someone that i look up to. She didn't even for a second stop loving me or think differently about me bacuse of my sexuality, but rather loved me more, for being open with her and myself.

My mother does so much for me, that i don't think I can ever repay her back. She offers me advice and helps me go down a good path in life. She helps me with school and supports me in anything i do. She currently works with special needs children and has been in the medical field, and the medical outreach field. My mother constantly thinks about other people before herself, and cares about the community, especially the GLBTQ community. She helped me support the "No" on prop 102, and knowing that she stood by me for that, filled me with such love and admiration that it always makes me cry. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my mother and how she inspires me, and i know that she inspires every person she meets with her undying perservence and understanding and caring nature.

I can only hope to one day be half the person that my mother is and she has made me the person that i'am today and also helped me in creating my own co-ed fraternity on campus that accepts everyone male and female, and truly supports the GLBTQ community. I feel so blessed to have a mother that loves her son for who he is and doesn't see me for just being "gay" but seeing my for who i truly am and she has never stopped loving me. With that, I want to thank my mother for making me the man i'am today and for blessing me with your guidance and loving nature and I'm honored to be your son, and I want to let you know that you inspire me each and everyday, and I hope to raise my own family and be to my children what you are to me.